Kelly Brook

Well, she is a little unsubtle for Agent Triple P, perhaps, but Agent DVD is in love..

There is also no doubt that she is a fine looking young woman but the fact that she comes from the Medway Towns weighs against her.

Agent Triple P has had several experiences of interacting with Estuarine women, notably D and L, and found them both rather high maintenance, emotionally.

Although both did go, it has to be admitted, like Duracell bunnies.
No doubt Miss Brook is the same.

High maintenance, that is.

We had a particularly entertaining evening at the Tapas Bar (controversially) this evening and the A team of babes were there all looking particularly fetching.

Agent Triple P was having trouble with gravity (or was it the lack of light) but the Brazilian babes came to the rescue.

Agent DVD claims it's because his DVD player is playing up and so he is having to watch more TV and so happened to be watching Strictly Come Dancing this weekend.

He says it was only because Penny Lancaster and Kelly Brook were on Jonathan Ross on Friday. Odd, as Agent DVD hates Jonathan Ross.

Never mind he seemed to be very impressed by Miss Brook's "personality" and set about trying to find some "artistic" pictures, with rather limited success we gather.

So we are glad to come to the rescue with this selection of pictures which brings out her bubbly personality very effectively, we feel.

Kelly is, a rather surprising, 5'9" tall.

She looks shorter but perhaps that is because her proportions are, er, unconventional.

Her vital statistics are claimed to be 34E-24-34.

Agent DVD of course, is only interested in her mind so will be gratified to find that she has 9 GCSEs, (English, English Literature, Maths, History, Geography, Biology, Drama, Media Studies and French).

What a talented girl!

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Bentley Town

Agent Triple P drove from his house to the Village shop yesterday, a a distance of approximately half a mile and saw no less than three Bentley Continentals, including a convertible. As the footballer's car of choice they are horribly common around here so buying you one cetainly doesn't get you any exclusivity.

Agent Triple P remembers the first time he saw one in a car showroom on the Unter den Linden a few years ago. He was rather attracted to its Teutonic brutishness, especially in black, but would probably go for a DB9 (even though they are common as well).
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Lost Babes: Simone Bendix

Ah, Space Precinct, yet another clear indicator that Gerry Anderson should stick with puppets. It lasted for only one season but, in fact, Agent Triple P largely enjoyed it for the jovially misogyinist tosh it was (the baddie invariably turned out to be a woman).

Apart from a great theme tune it featured the lovely Simone Bendix who really should have gone on to greater things. Sometimes Agent Triple P spots a young actress in an early role and thinks "you should be a star!" Sometimes he is right (A very young Rachel Weisz playing a student in Inspector Morse made a great impression, Katherine Heigl in Under Siege 2 and then Roswell before winning a Golden Globe for Grey's Anatomy this year and busting the box office in Knocked Up) but sometimes he is wrong, and he got it completely wrong with Simone.

The strapping Simone (she is 6') is actually Danish and is now 40, which means that she has missed it as regards stardom, sadly.

We first noticed her in the (sadly underrated) Young Indiana Jones Chronicles in 1993 but she got her big break in Gerry Anderson's comeback series and Scottish nonsense The Crow Road.

Since then she has kept working as a guest actress in shows like Taggart, Bugs, A Touch of Frost and the Inspector Lynley Mysteries as well as regular appearances in Danish cinema and TV.

Agent Triple P is sad that you didn't make the big time but keen to keep your gorgeousness in the public eye.

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William McGregor Paxton

Agent Triple P has become rather fond of naked American women this month (more of which in due course). Given the women in question were rather camera shy we thought we would, instead, display this rather fine picture by William Paxton called Glow of gold, gleam of pearl. Paxton, who was mainly a portrait painter, (born 1869) produced this rather fine study in 1906.

Baltimore born Paxton died of a heart attack literally on the job whilst painting a picture of his wife in 1941.

But he has left these two nice nudes for posterity: obviously the same woman and a very fine woman at that. Perhaps it was his wife!
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Alesha Dixon: Come Dancing?

Well, she looks like she might when in full flow. This is the point about dancing that Agent Triple P has obviously missed over the years. We were discussing what women could possiby see in Justin Timberlake with a rather splendid lady cardiologist, S, in the bar of the Beverly Hilton earlier this month. It is all, we were told, to do with how he moves. Their theory is that men who dance well will be good at sex. This is patently nonsense and I'm sure that it is something to do with cavemen dancing around fires and fertility. It usually is.

Agent Triple P finds himself, bizarrely, looking forward to Saturday's show, especially given that ballroom dancing is about at far as you can get from uninhibited cavepeople jiggling around a fire in an attempt to persuade a caveperson of the opposite sex to make cavebabies. But then we don't have a show featuring semi-evolved proto-humans doing unco-ordinated dancing to primitive music in order to attract a mate. Well, not since they cancelled Top of the Pops, anyway.

Anyway, we had been expecting to appreciate Kelly Brook the most but find our anticipation is largely fuelled by the presence of Alesha, of whom we had never even heard until several weeks ago.

She is very much a classic "reality" TV candidate: she attempted to go it alone from her group a couple of years ago and disappeared without trace so this is giving her some coverage.

Unlike last week's dress which seemed to consist of nothing but what looked like green feathers and made her look rather like Orville the Duck. Well, can you spot the difference? This week she has to undertake a ballroom dance rather than the Latin ones she has been so effectively shimmying in so far. Has she got the physical discipline? Time will tell!

She may look like a duck but look at the thighs on her! Awesome!

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LT Uhura

So, they have cast an actress to play Lt Uhura in the new, back to Starfleet Academy, Star Trek film.

She is Zoe Zaldana a 28 year old American actress. Agent Triple P thinks that they have made a fine choice and looks forward to seeing her in a very short velour dress and boots.
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It's a fare cop.

The "Revenue Protection Officers" were out in force again at Waterloo this morning, having a good old argument with a young woman over having the wrong ticket. Interestingly, every time I see that they have caught someone for fare-dodging it is invariably a young woman in her late twenties. Not teenagers, homeless people or dodgy looking foreigners: women.

This reinforces my view that women should not be carried on public transport during the rush hour; like bikes. They clog up the trains, they annoyingly do their make-up on the train (how stupid is that-to chose a location that moves about?) and they always have too many bags, coats and other possessions on them. Then when you arrive at the station they totter along in their ridiculous shoes and hold everyone up. Amazingly this slow moving stops when you are trying to board a tube and suddenly they develop this barracuda-like rapid acceleration which means that they can leap past you and grab the last seat.

Women, stay at home! There must be something more useful you could be doing.

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Wham, Bam, Thank you, Doctor

According to the paper today female doctors in their 30s and living in the South of England are the most prone to having affairs.

Male farmers are the least likely to stray, presumably because they have access to lots of female livestock.

So, the question is, where do you go to to meet bored lady doctors (other than the bar of the Beverly Hilton!)?
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Petra Němcová: La Senza Girl

La Senza, the cheap and cheerful lingerie shop, has announced that it's new model will be Czech superlovely Petra Němcová.

Agent Triple P has spent an inordinate amount of time in branches of La Senza (a Canadian company) with various Moosehead girls over the years.

It's not really to my taste, most of it, as it tends to garish colours but Petra makes a good go of displaying it in these pictures.

Petra, like so many others, got her big break being a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model.

It constantly amazes me that in the so-called equal opportunity USA a sports magazine can get away with printing totally gratuitous pictures of girls in bikinis every year.

I suppose it's equal opportunities for gorgeous leggy women.

28 year old Petra was born in Karviná in the Czech Republic and is not your average dumb model.

She has written a book about her early life living under communist rule in Czechoslovakia and recently set up her own charity foundation to look after deprived children.

In the Tsunami on December 26th 2004 she was badly injured whilst staying in Thailand.

She broke her pelvis and suffered massive internal injuries and only survived by clinging to a palm tree for eight hours.

She is also an active campaigner on environmental issues. So, literally a tree-hugger, then.

Obviously tough as old boots but Agent Triple P is glad to report that her pelvis looks absolutely fine now.

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