Black and White babe of the Week 21: Vendela Kirsebom

A top model at the end of the nineties half Norwegien, half Swedish Vendela never became as famous as was at one time predicted. Discovered at the age of thirteen in a Stockholm restaurant by Eileen Ford of the Ford model agency she modelled in Italy and represented a number of top companies including: Elizabeth Arden, Revlon, Barbour, Diesel, Mikimoto, and Victoria's Secret. She was a Sports Illustrated swimsuit girl in 1997 at the comparatively advanced age of 30.

She did some acting, including a role with Arnold Schwarzenegger in Batman and Robin (1997) the same year but failed to make the leap to the mainstream (perhaps her name counted against her). Latterly, she has been involved in the Swedish and Norwegien versions of America's Top Model and is, almost inevitably, a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF.

In her prime she exuded a sort of cool Grace Kelly-type appeal and appeared in several of Agent Triple P's all time favourite Sports Illustrated shots.

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How to keep fit in old age...

The word "smug" springs to mind...

Well done to the inventive but usually hopelessly uncommercial Sir Clive Sinclair (69) for marrying his finance, former Miss England and lapdancer Angie Bowness (33). Apparently, whilst staying at the Bellagio in Las Vegas the odd couple decided to get hitched in a typical local quickie ceremony. Agent Triple P can vouch for the romantic effect of the Bellagio having stayed there several times and congratulates Sir Clive on his impulsiveness and stamina!

What exactly was it that drew the sexagenarian inventor to the young dancer?

We can be as rude as we like about Sir Clive because, it seems, he doesn't use the internet. We wonder what he does to fill his time?

Actually, we don't want to be rude to him. In fact, we are full of admiration for him!

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This year's best Songkran photo. Loopy Thai, wet babe and hovering in the background, like an evil imperialist spectre, the sinister form of Ronald MacDonald. It sums up everything that has gone wrong with Bangkok, one of the most unpleasant cities in Asia.

So, last week the happy Thais celebrated their old New Year festival of Songkran. Supposedly a religious festival about cleansing and renewal but now a ghastly three to five day session of binge drinking and assault with filthy canal water. Triple P has been in Bangkok during Songkran when it was over 100 degrees and the streets were full of manic locals and, even worse, foreigners joining in in the "fun" (mainly equally drunken Australians).

Its one local festival that is well worth avoiding (actually, nearly all local festivals are well worth avoiding) especially as every year there is thousands of pounds worth of damage, people killed and permanently disabled due to accidents and thousands treated for nasty eye infections caused by said filthy canal water. Never mind at least they livened it up even more this year by throwing in a few anti-government riots too.

Its a lot of effort just to see a few wet women.
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It's really quiet...

The Phantom Cloud of Doom

Agent Triple P lives exactly half way between Britain's two busiest airports: Heathrow and Gatwick. He lives directly under the Heathrow-Gatwick helicopter link. You don't notice the planes usually, although often you can see them and their vapour trails if they are in one of the nearby holding stacks. The helicopter is much more intrusive, though.

But now everything is quiet as the giant Icelandic cloud of volcanic ash over Britain has brought all flights to a halt.

It's spooky!
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Future interiors from the past 3: "The House of the Future"

Here is a lighthearted but, nevertheless, interesting look at the house of the future produced in 1956. The illustration was by Detroit-based graphic designer Fred McNabb who had, a year earlier, turned his mind to other ways we would be living in the future.

His 1955 year look at domestic laundry, a decade into the future, posited a combination washer/dryer and shirt presser and folder. The machine would need a considerable amount of room but would leave madame free to go shopping for urgently needed cat food. Of course, anyone who successfully solves the problem of mechanically pressing and folding shirts for a domestic context is going to make a huge amount of money but, sadly, progress in this area has been almost non-existent and disproportionately large numbers of women around the world still spend hours a week on this mind-numbing labour

In his look at the office of 1960 our executive merely needs to speak his pearls of wisdom and they are printed, addressed and stuck into envelopes ready to go. There was, of course, no development along these lines in the sixties as it was cheaper to employ large numbers of women (when they weren't ironing) to do all the tedious stuff rather than develope a machine. It would never be contemplated that the executive would have to learn to type himself, of course. Agent Triple P remembers that he was working in a large well known insurance institution about twenty years ago. Triple P's secretary had a Wang (as did Triple P) for sending internal e-mails (with lovely green on black writing). However, his secretary, (a spectacularly beautiful girl with an amzing figure, who had been a top sprinter) had an additional word processing package so that she could type his letters. Sometimes Triple P needed to change a letter after the secretary had left and so he asked to be given the word processing package as well. Because of the cost of the licence this went up to a very senior director level. Triple P's request was turned down on the basis "that we do not pay our senior executives to waste their time with typing." Quite right! Get a girl to do it!

Back to the main picture, McNabb got some things right and some things wrong. We do not, of course fly around in personal helicopters so we don't need moving stairs up to the roof! Dust free floors would first require dust free people and he has his usual laundry folding machine. The giant sized fruit (presumably genetically engineered) are completely the wrong way around, of course. Everyone today wants small fruit and vegatables: cherry tomatoes, baby sweetcorn, miniature cauliflowers. Food as presentation having become more important than size or indeed taste. In Britain, at least, many of our fruit and vegetables come from vast glasshouses in the Netherlands. Things like peppers look lovely but taste of nothing. HMS has been known to get his fruit and vegetables direct from Italy. They are completely non-standard in both shape and colour but they taste fantastic!

Three things he got right are the flat-screen TV (a reallly good prediction given the nature of TVs fifty years ago), the microwave oven and the phone-vision receiver which looks amazingly like an Apple Mac!
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Iceland. What next?

Kaboom! goes Iceland. if only...

Agent Triple P usually doesn't think aboiut Iceland much. It is one of the few European countries he hasn't visited. As one of Triple P's friends said once "Why go there? It looks like Mordor!"

However, now the radio news claims we are all going to be covered in volcanic ash from a volcano (naturally) that has erupted under the wonderfully named Eyjafjallajokull glacier.

Good grief. Iceland is starting to get annoying! First all their banks go bust taking huge amounts of money invested by UK local authorities. Then we find that secretly they have been buying up half the British high street and so all their shops go bust making the average high street look like something from 1930s America. Because all these shops are closing the papers get all wound up and make our financial crisis worse than it already is. Now they are going to shower us with volcanic ash!

In this stirring painting a nasty Icelandic gunboat threatens innocent British fisherman

Agent Triple P remembers The Cod Wars of the Seventies when the Icelanders tried to unilaterally increase their terrotorial waters to an area bigger than their own country and tried to beat up our fisherman by intimidating them with their coastguard and cutting the nets of our trawlers. The Icelanders got nasty, trying to buy gunboats from first the Americans and then the Soviet. In the end the UK was forced into conceding a fishing quota in seas that didn't belong to Iceland as the wily Icelanders blackmailed the British government by threating to close a key British run Nato base on the island. In other words, they not only tried to buy Soviet warships but they were prepared to threaten the security of the West as well. Every time we hear the word "Icelandic" we always connect it with the word "gunboat".

Time to take action against this annoying little place before they come up with some other trouble!

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Black and White Babe of the Week: 20 Girl with lace knickers

Agent Triple P has had this one in his collection for over fifteen years. We don't know anything about it but we just like the image.

It's the lace of course...
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Most Searched Item: March 2010

Katrina Hodge. Caused a big surge.

A massive jump straight in at number one (the first time that has happened) for "Combat Barbie" and Miss Great Britain, Katrina Hodge.

1 (-) Katrina Hodge.
2 (2) Margaret Nolan. The most consistently popular girl on the list.
3 (1)Emily Blunt. Her time at the top is over.
4 (4) Cheryl Cole. Maintains her top five position (unlike her recent singles)
5 (7) Pirate girls. Har, har! Up again, belikes!
6 (8) Tori Praver. Back as top Sports Illustrated girl.
7 (13) Luci Victoria. Up one more for British Playmate.
8 (11) Jarah Mariano. South Seas swimsuit babe bouces up again.
9 (10) Irena Shayk. Another place up this month.
10 (15) Daniela Sarahyba. Another big climber.
11 (9) Linda Lusardi. Drops a bit but doing better over at Venus Observations.
12 (18) Ekaterina Ivanova. Rolling Stones ex continues her inexplicable climb.
13 (12) Sophie Howard. Plummets. Drops one.
14 (19) Ayshea Brough. UFO babe creeps up again.
15 (-) Cindy Morgan. Re-entry for Tron and Caddyshack actress.
16 (-)Patricia Velasquez. Re-entry for The Mummy actress and model.
17 (-) Hawaiian girls. Hulalicious!
18 (-) Jessica White. First entry for busty model.
19 (5) Brande Roderick. Grape squashing Playmate drops for first time in ages.
20 (-) Ping Pong girls. First time entry. Must look for some more!

Highest climber other than Katrina was for busty British Playmate Luci Victoria Oldfield.

Biggest plunge out of the top twenty was for Holly Willoughby; down from last month's number 12.

Looking at the top non girlie searches we have:

1 The Adventures of Triple P.
2 Mark Cavendish Bike.
3 Speed limit sign.
4 Venus Observations.
5 UFO.
6 Sanger-Bredt anti-podal bomber
7 Valley of Gwangi soundtrack
8 How to Murder your Wife soundtrack.
9 Fontainebleau Hotel
10 Pan Am Clipper
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Flying Boat of the Future

Before the Second World War, as we have seen, flying boats were at the forefront of trans-oceanic travel.

After the War, it was thought that these luxurious monsters would carry on where they had left off but the development of large bombers, which could be converted to airliners in peacetime, and the increasing numbers of concrete runways spelled the end for the trans-oceanic flying boat.

This picture, from 1946, foresees a future that never happened. There would be giant planes, of course, but not taking off from water.
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English wholegrain mustard

Proper Mustard

Agent Triple P likes a cooked breakfast on Saturday morning and he has a pack of Porky White's excellent Surrey sausages ready to go for tomorrow morning. However, we had run out of mustard but thought we could easily deal with this when we found ourselves in the large Sainsbury's in Pontes this afternoon. So having found the mustard section (not easy in itself-Sainsburys has an annoying habit of putting random stuff over the frozen cabinets rather than on proper shelves with the other canned and bottled goods) we looked along the serried ranks for a nice English wholegrain. Nothing! All they had was the unaturally yellow "traditional" English hot mustard and loads and loads of French-made mustard. They had three types of French-made wholegrain but no English wholegrain at all. Well Triple P refuses to buy French mustard so had to stop at Waitrose on the way home.

None of your Froggie nonsense for these splendid porkers!

Looking on their website Sainsburys only do one English wholegrain mustard (as do Tesco) but if its not in one of their bigger stores I don't know where you find it. In contrast, Waitrose has eight English wholegrain mustards on their website and a good selection in the shop.

So, "hooray!" for Waitrose for backing British manufacturers and "boo!" to Sainsbury's and Tesco for giving all our money to the French!
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Black and White Babe of the Week: 19 Girl painting her toe nails

This week's black and white babe is, we think, from a Max magazine from the early nineties. We don't know the photographer but the girl looks continental. Its a striking pose and she gives off that insouciant air of a girl who will spend all afternoon performing athletic sex with you then she will dress up so you can go out in the evening and will then go off with some Greek poet never to be seen again. Yes, probably French.
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Most women in orbit

STS 131 launches Monday morning

Following the launch of the Space Shuttle Discovery, on mission STS 131, there are now four women in orbit; the most ever at one time.

L to R: Wilson, Metcalf-Lindenberger and Yamazaki

First timers Dorothy Metcalf-Lindenburger and Naoko Yamazaki from the Japanese Aerospace Exploration Agency (who will join her countryman Soichi Noguchi in the ISS) joined third timer Stephanie Wilson on the early morning launch to the International Space Station. Today they will link up with the ISS and join Tracy Caldwell Dyson who is already on board.

The really rather foxy Dr Caldwell Dyson

Dr Caldwell Dyson is also lead singer of the all-astronaut rock band MaxQ.

Go ladies, go!

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April Fools' Day

Here, in Surrey's "Capital of Bling", one wag (that is a joker, not one of the local sporting resident's wife or girlfriend) appended a sign beneath the name sign at the approach to the village which read "twinned with Beverly Hills".

Heh, heh. The problem is that someone will think its a good idea and start to open negotiations with the Mayor of Beverly Hills. Agent Triple P has spent some time in Beverly Hills and the one thing you notice is that the roads are beautifully smooth and flat. You can tell when you cross from an adjoining municipality by the road surface quality. Not exactly the case in Elmbridge. Agent Triple P can only remember two places with worse road surfaces than here at present: Tripoli and Malta.

Sort it out!
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Calendar Girl April: Pixie Lott

This month's calendar girl is 19 year old English singer Pixie (real name Victoria) Lott. Agent Triple P has heard of her but can't recall ever hearing (or at least remembering) any of her music.

Young Pixie is often pictures wearing shorts and she does appear to have a particularly pert posterior which, as far as Tripkle P goes, is a very good thing!

Pixie chose this rather curious number for a performance last year and it certainly doesn't give her much room to hide.

The daughter of a stockbroker, she does at least write some of her own songs as well as contributing songs for others so she isn't just a singing puppet.

Whether young Pixie will go far may well depend on how good her songs are as there is always another young singer along to do the blonde chick bit. At least she is better looking than Any Winehouse!

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Spanish Air Comet stewardesses pose for calendar

A group of stewardesses (we can't be doing with all this flight attendant nonsense) from bankrupt Spanish airline Air Comet have stripped off for a tasteful calendar aimed at bringing attention to the fact that they are owed up to nine months pay.

Given that they are selling the calendar for 15 Euros a time they presumably hope to make some money too, although its bad luck on the ugly ones who don't have any calendar income.

Although, apparently, they have only printed 1500 copies and given the interest from the press they might need to do another print run!

Air Comet was founded in 1996 as Air Plus Comet (there is another Air Comet in Chile) and were based in Madrid serving long haul destinations in Latin America.

In 1997 they took over the routes of the bankrupt Air Madrid and became Spain's second largets airline after Iberia.

It all started to go wrong in early 2009 when the airline couldn't pay its leasing fees to its German bank.

The Spanish transport ministry withdrew their operating licence when it realised the airline couldn't pay for fuel.

Its collapse left thousands of passengers stranded and the Spanish government had to spend 6.3 million Euros on leasing four planes to bring them all home.

The airline has made all 640 of its employees redundant including these lovely creatures.

Agent Triple P can't help but observing (given that we missed a trip to Washington DC last month due to the BA strike) that he hasn't seen more than a couple of attractive BA stewardesses in ten years of regular flying but Air Comet had at least a Calendar's worth of them!

Triple P has scoured the internet looking for the young ladies calendar pages (Penelope Cruz-a-like Miss November is Triple P's favourite) and managed to track down all but Miss May so we will have to content ourselves with a screen capture from a TV piece about them.

Well we wish the ladies well in their endeavours: their aim of bringing attention to their plight has probably succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.

Above, we have the girls in happier days before they had to hand back their uniforms leaving them nothing to wear.

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