The Eurovision Song Contest 2012

Greece's Eleftheria Elftheriou and her sparkly knickers

Well, another tragic performance by The UK at Eurovision, as we came second from last (again).   Oh well, one place higher than 2010 when we were dead last.  Having been one of the most successful countries for decades (won 5 times, second 15 times) our performance in the last ten years has been dismal:  last three times, second to last twice, third to last once.

Who knows what came over the person in the BBC who chose 76 year old Engelbert Humperdinck as our representative.  He hasn't had even a modest hit since 1976.  The decision must have been made after a long lunch, we can only suppose.

The BBC puts in a huge amount of licence payers money to this political back slapping contest.  Given that Jade Ewen came 5th in 2009 it can't just be that everyone hates us in Europe (actually we all hate you too, Johnny Foreigner!).  Most other countries field their top artists but, of course, none of ours need the international exposure that these Balkan and Baltic nonentities crave for.  We haven't fielded a major artist since Olivia Newton-John in 1974 and, to be honest, she was still on her way up at the time).

I'm afraid there is only one solution for next year:  the UK's nemesis bomb - One Direction!

Eleftheria Eleftheriou.  Try saying that after three glasses of Ouzo

Personally Agent Triple P's favourite was the repetitively named Eleftheria Eleftheriou and we were surprised that her catchy Europop number and sparkly knicker-flashing rountine didn't place her higher.  It would have been most amusing to see what the Greeks would have done if they'd won, given the cost of mounting the competition!  

Eleftheria is actually a Cypriot and competed in the Greek X Factor.  She was a candidate for Cyprus' Eurovision entry in 2005 and Greece's in 2010.  Interestingly she studied at the University of Surrey in Guidford, just down the A3 from Triple P's house.

We have to say that we can't understand the appeal of the Swedish winner, especially in what was a rather stronger year than recently.

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