So long Iveta and so long Aliona....

Iveta: Triple P has always enjoyed a leggy Lithuanian

So what were the producers thinking in inviting 74 year old Johnny Ball onto Strictly Come Dancing this year?  He plodded through his routine with substitute dancer perky Lithuanian Iveta Lukosiute (who patiently tried her best) and was the first person thrown off.  

The disaster of course is that the sulkily attractive Aliona Vilani now won't have the chance to some back after her ankle injury heals.  Hopefully she'll get some show dances later in the series.

Ball's foxtrot was at least an attempt at proper dancing which is more than can be said for Jerry Hall's effort. Unfortunately, we will miss this week's show as we will be somewhere over the Atlantic but hope Victoria Pendleton's renaissance continues and hope they get Ola into a catsuit before her time runs out too.

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Strictly Come Dancing returns...with Victoria Pendleton

Agent Triple P can't believe that Strictly Come Dancing has returned again already but it starts up on BBC1 tomorrow.

Despite what the BBC are saying it isn't quite as strong a line up as last year's series but it does have the bonus of Triple P's favourite sportswoman Victoria Pendleton as one of the competitors.

Poor Vicky didn't have as good an Olympics as she had hoped for in her last games winning "only" one gold and a silver.  Still, she is looking pretty good in her delightfully abbreviated Strictly outfits.  We are glad that the BBC isn't bowing down to the cover-up lobby!

We suspect that she may not be the best dancer (how come Denise van Outen is allowed in the show, foxy though she is, when she is a West End actress, singer and dancer?) but the opportunity to see Victoria's magnificent thighs flexing is one not to be missed.

Ola!

Even better news is the return of terpsichorean totty Ola Jordan who, it was widely rumoured last year, would not be returning because of friction between her husband, James, and the Strictly judges.  We hope we get another catsuit this year!

Karen Hauer

The only bad news, from Triple P's perspective is that lovely Lithuanian-Canadian Katya Virshilas is not returning having been booted out by the BBC for being not famous enough.  Her replacement is Venezuelan dancer and Nicole Scherzinger look-alike Karen Hauer on whom we reserve judgement until we have seen her in motion.

Can't wait!

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A Viennese Whirl - but not for Triple P

Agent Triple P is feeling rather Viennese and frothy at present because we have been listening to a lot of Johann Strauss.  Now this is not our usual listening at all.  When listening to classical music, as we largely do, we prefer late romantics like Mahler, Sibelius, Rachmaninov, Rimsky-Korsakov, Khachaturian et al.  However we recently found ourselves writing a ballroom scene in our ever expanding erotic story Les Soeurs Croissant  and needed some appropriate music to write to.  As we were in Bucharest at the time we had to confine ourselves to what was on our iPod, which turned out to be just The Blue Danube, taken from a Herbert von Karajan compilation of Strauss music.  We hadn't put the rest of the CD on the iPod, however, and the Blue Danube just reminds us of spaceships so we put aside writing this scene until we could obtain some more Strauss, which we duly did on our return.

Now long ago Agent Triple P loved Johann Strauss and, indeed some of the very first records we owned were Strauss compilations.  In fact, we think that this one (above) was the first record we bought with our own money in about 1970.  Up until this point Triple P's only LPs were a handful of hand me downs from our aunt who had recently got married and passed us her duplicates.  Thus we had a collection that, in total, included, the Beatles' Revolver, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and Magical Mystery Tour.  In addition we had Beethoven's 3rd symphony (still our favourite Beethoven) and Dvorak's New World.

It's odd seen from today's perspective, where music is so ubiquitous that you can carry it around with you all the time, but back in the sixties although most people had record players not many people had any actual records.  Most households triple P visited had perhaps a dozen or maybe even less.  Triple P's parents owned about eight records.  The record player was in the living room so, in Triple P's family, whatever was played had to be acceptable to all.  Strauss caused no arguments and so we soon acquired a second compilation (above).  These records cost 99p at the time so were a big hit on our 50p a week pocket money.  It was only when we got our first record player, which we could have in our bedroom that our record buying expanded.

Triple P does not enjoy dancing and, indeed, we are very suspicious of men who do.  Our view is that it is something you have to endure at a certain age when you are trying to meet girls and it is to be avoided if at all possible.  Most men are bad dancers and those that are good are looked on with suspicion by other men.  Women, on the other hand, are much more likely to have had some form of dance training and so are able to deal with the basics.  Women like men to dance with them but are then very critical of them if they are no good.  We suspect that we have only danced (or an approximation of it) half a dozen times at most and we have to be really drunk to do so.  A girlfriend once took Triple P to a ballroom dancing class in advance of some event and we found it quite impossible to remember any of the sequences of movements needed.  Even though it was just the two of us and the teacher we felt totally awkward, stressed and self-conscious. We did not return for a second lesson!

Last time we were in Vienna we took this picture of the Johann Strauss monument

We enjoy watching good dancing, however, and the waltz can look quite splendid especially when done en masses as seen at the New Year's Day concert in Vienna.  

It is often said that anyone can dance but we actually don't agree with this.  You only have to watch the early rounds of Strictly Come Dancing or Dancing with the Stars to see that some people just can't do it; and these are people who, presumably, think they can or they wouldn't have entered in the first place.  We think dancing is an innate ability, like being musical, having ability in languages, being good at maths or drawing.  While you can improve a little through teaching, if you don't have that basic ability nothing that anyone does for you can help.  It is best just to acknowledge your limitations, therefore! 

So we will enjoy our nineteenth century dance music and just be glad that we weren't around at a time when formal dancing was a required skill in society!

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Ola Jordan to be Axed from Strictly Come Dancing?

Bad news at the weekend in that it seems that Polish poppet Ola Jordan is likely to be the victim of a BBC Strictly Come Dancing shake-up.

The BBC regularly dump popular dancers on the show, especially when they get older, but it seems poor Ola is a target because of grumpy husband James' arguments with the Strictly team backstage (particularly the eminence gris of the show Craig Revell Horwood).

They should dump him (he always comes across as a slightly nasty piece of work) and keep her but I suppose she wouldn't agree to that.

Ola is one (two?) of the main reasons to watch the show for Agent Triple P and it just won't be the same without her annual catsuit outing. Oh well, we will have to make do with Aliona and Katya to provide glittery sex appeal next year.

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X Factor Dancers

X factor dancers appear to flash their busts at last year's competitor Wagner in one of their controversial performances in 2010

As we have observed before the only reason to watch the X Factor is some of the lady backing dancers.  Since last year's furore as regards "inappropriate" routines during performances by Christina Aguilera and Rhianna the producers have ensured that this season's dancers costumes are less revealing, unfortunately.  However, the ladies themselves are often so fine that despite having to look somewhat more dowdy they still brighten up a winter's evening.

Still, we had some very nice shorts in last week's programme and it is interesting to observe the Crazy Horse technique of different height heels to ensure that posteriors are lined up at a nice regular level.

Cute! Cute! Cute!

Its not often that a backing dancer breaks free from the background but this was the case for one of the 2009 crop of X Factor dancers, the lovely Sianad Gregory, who we first noted as she pranced around a  lucky Olly Murs, in her little witches outfit, during the Halloween themed show.

Miss Gregory in all her glory

Not surprisingly Mr Murs was very taken with Miss Gregory and was desperate to obtain her phone number after the show.  Whether he did or not we do not know!

Siniad (right) with Margarita Hall in Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)

Miss Gregory is not only a dancer but an actress, appearing in a supporting role in 2009's amazingly unfunny Hammer horror spoof (a loose remake of the Karnstein films) Lesbian Vampire Killers which, with a title like that, should have been a lot better than it was.

She also appeared in the recent dance film Street Dance 3D (2010) where she looked enticing in legwarmers.

5'6" tall Sianad is from Wales and has appeared in Welsh language TV programmes as well as having had parts in medical dramas Holby City and Casualty for the BBC.

With her long legs, gamine face and cute tummy we hope the twenty-three year old goes far! Forget the terrible singers, let's just have more dancers like Miss Gregory hitting the limelight and  then the show will at least have done something worthwhile.

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Strictly Come Dancing: Ola's catsuit of 2011

Our weather has, at last, turned normal for the time of year (i.e. cold damp grey and foggy) so it was nice to get Polish sex bomblet Ola Jordan in a catsuit on Strictly Come Dancing this Saturday to warm things up.   The BBC sensibly waited until their big Wembley Arena spectacular before unveiling  Ola  in this year's little number and it did not disappoint.  We were concerned that we may not get a catsuit this year because, after all, when she first wore one there were complaints and the BBC said at the time they wouldn't be putting her in another one. 

Given the current "anti raunchy" campaign led by the Daily Mail to stop anything remotely sensual on TV we thought that this might be a catsuit free year but, no, Ola appeared on Saturday resplendent in a lacy blue number with silver trim, although we were not sure about her big hair.

This year's version was well up to standard without, perhaps, topping the original shiny leopard print version she wore with Andrew Castle in 2008.

There are some who feel that the ne plus ultra of Ola catsuits was the red one she wore with Chris Hollins in 2009 (the year they went on to win the trophy).  Although it was even more abbreviated than the leopard print one it falls short for Triple P as it conceals her cute tummy button.

Our third favourite after the leopard print and this year's blue number was the one she wore last year for her showdance with husband James.  No wonder he always looks so irritatingly smug!

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The return of Strictly Come Dancing

Strictly's Ola Jordan

One of Triple P's guilty pleasures is Strictly Come Dancing (Dancing with the Stars in the US) so we were delighted to watch the preview programme last night. 

Usually there is a TV babe or two (like last year's winner Kara Tointon) to enjoy but this year, hammered by accusations of ageism as regards women the BBC has presented a celebrity line up of older ladies.  We have to say that sixties pop poppet Lulu still looks great at 62.  The show does feature Australian actress and warbler Holly Valance though, who Triple P admired a few years ago.

 

Holly in her heyday

The lady dancers haven't changed this year so we have the welcome return of grumpy dancing Pole (as opposed to pole dencer) Ola Jordan and Triple P's current favourite, the classically gorgeous Canadian-Lithuianian Katya Virshilas. 

Katya Virshilas: Hot to foxtrot

We're looking forward to seeing them all gyrating around in tiny sparkly outfits over the next few months.

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Strictly Come Dancing returns....

Ola!

Which means the welcome return to the small screen of bossy Polish sex droplet Ola Jordan. Frankly we could quite happily spend ages watch Ola do the hoovering, provided she was wearing a tiny, sparkly French maid's outfit. Incidentally, Triple P is amused to discover that that there is a whole industry of ladies who will dress as French maids and clean your house, do your ironing, prepare your foood etc. Odd, we thought that these were called wives.

Natalie

Anyway. already the BBC is in trouble over the abbreviated nature of this year's ladies costumes with grumpy people complaining that they are inappropriate for a family show. Surely the definition of a family show is one that entertain's the whole family. If it doesn't it's just a woman's show, a children's show etc. We would have thought that Ola and co's sparkly little outfits would have been found to be very entertaining by most of the men watching; providing a source of enjoyment equalled by the other family members appreciation of the sequinned outfits, male dancers, terpsichorean efforts etc. Its only fair!

Aliona : dressed as a pole dancer, according to one journalist

So we think that those internet journalists (no doubt blubbery women who never get any exercise) are just jealous that the likes of Aliona Vilani can get away with being dressed as "pole dancers" as one of these "wimmin" put it. Maybe if they got out and did five or six hours of aerobic execise a day they would suddenly decide that they would want to start wearing tiny outfits too.

Flavia

The BBC have been accused, with more justification, of ageism as regards the hiring of preofessional dancers. Several of the "old guard" have disappeared over the last few years. Triple P is quite happy about this as this years crop of celebrity ladies are, we think, rather older than normal and so need counterblancing by the younger professional dancers. So no ageism there.

Kara Tointon

This year's celebrity tottie is the somewhat down market Kara Tointon, the face of poor people's supermarket chain Asda's lingerie range. We have examined Kara in some detail before http://adventuresoftriplep.blogspot.com/2010/02/calendar-girl-february-kara-tointon.html and feel that she is not in the same league as the divine Kelly Brook a few years ago.

Kristina

The other younger lady celebrities, the unknown one from Destiny's Child and a busty hobbit from some soap are not so interesting either. So our attention will be focussed even more on the professional dancers: Ola (27), Aliona (25), Kristina (33), Natalie (30), Katya (27) and Flavia (31).

Erin

The elegant Erin Boag, at 35, is the oldest lady professional and is the only one who has done all eight series. However, she seems to manage to look younger every year and seems to have some sort of power at the BBC that keeps her in. She is the only one Triple P has met and she seems quite delightful.

Ola and Gollum

Sadly, Ola seems destined for a quick exit, having won the title last year. She is paired with annoying little goblin Paul Daniels and is likely to be first out this weekend. Hopefully, this means that she will be freed up to do some non-competition jiggling during the rest of the series; hopefully in a catsuit. Incidentally, Ola's outfit this week looked like it had had its ruffled tail added at the last minute over the original tail of her costume. Maybe even the BBC felt that the original would have been too minimal.

Katya

Never mind we have the lovely Lithuanian born Canadian Katya Virshilas to appreciate too, although as she is paired with the former Mr Charlotte Church she may not last long either. Last year Katya actually put on a stone (14lbs/7kg for you foreigners) in weight during her time on Strictly due to discovering the delights of traditional English breakfasts. This year that has all gone and she is looking hot to trot.

Aliona's tummy again

Anyway, it's going to be a sparkly autumn!

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