Where's your pistol Claudine?

Triple P had just written his rant against Andy Williams' Christmas song last night, whilst our companion did complex things to her hair, when we decided to go to the hotel bar in search of a drink or three. The main bar was closed for a private party (I hate it when hotels do that; stick them in a conference room!) but the number two bar here is also, unusually very nice (we like this hotel as it has no less than three bars). No sooner had we sat down then what should come lilting through the speakers like a nasty outflow from a sludge farm? Yes, It's the most wonderful time of the year by Andy fucking Williams. We were apoplectic and made comments to the barman and he did at least turn it down. Our companion was most amused (we are afraid she is having a negative effect on our language).

When we were little the Andy Williams show was a staple of our Saturday evenings. Apart from the oleaginous Andy it also introduced the world to the Osmonds, for which it can never be forgiven.

Also slinking around was Williams' French wife, Claudine Longet who was fifteen years younger than him. Longet was a Las Vegas "dancer" who Williams literally picked up at the side of the road when she was 18. They seperated in the mid seventies and she set herself up with a skier, Vladimir Sabich, who was later shot dead by Longet in what she claimed was a tragic accident while he was showing her how the gun worked. This despite the fact that the autopsy showed that he was shot in the back from over six feet away. Amazingly, Longet was only found guilty of criminal negligence and served only 30 days in prison on the grounds that she had to look after her three young children.. Williams supported her throughout financially and emotionally but after her short sentence she dumped the children and hopped off to the Caribbean with her defense attorney who she later married. What a bitch!

If only she had used her pistol on Andy instead...

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