Watch out!

We were having a discussion with Agent DVD last week about watches. We pointed out to him that women looked at two things men were wearing to see if they might have any interest in them. The first was their shoes and the second thing was their watches. Agent DVD, much to my surprise, had a rather undeveloped sense when it came to nice watches (unlike HMS who spotted my new Georg Jensen almost immediately). We ran a few names past him: Breitling, Audermars Piguet, Baume & Mercier, Patek Philippe and he claimed not to have heard of any of them (although he could have been being contrary as usual!).

This has all come into focus having just returned from Geneva; a gigantic watch factory with a small city attached. Every city block contains at least one watch shop and most of the buildings seem to have watchmakers advertisements on them. We spotted a very nice, plain watch which would have been very nice in the Agent Triple P collection. Unfortunately it was £125,000. That would buy you 800 Cambodian virgins (allegedly). Or a nice Aston Martin. Or a good Victorian painting. Or 20 bottles of Chateau Petrus. Not good value anyway.

So here, for Agent DVD, is a quick guide to a few Swiss watches. There are about 260 Swiss watch manufacturers so this is very much a snapshot of some of the most popular.

DVD should look to the following firms to boost his girlie cred.

Audemars Piguet

Their Royal Oak is their signature watch. The Rolex Oyster for people who wouldn't be seen dead with a Rolex. Only £4,500.

Baume & Mercier

The Spirit is a retro classic. A snip at about £1,275.


A nice, modern nautical job for £5,250.


Triple P confesses that a Breitling Chronograph would be our first choice. Bling, bling!


The Ebel BTR chronograph is very shiny for £3,500.

Jaeger le Coultre

For £4,900 you could get this chronograph. Big knobs!

Patek Philppe

This is their Aquanaut for £4,600. Obviously they don't know that Gerry Anderson coined the word Aquanaut for Stingray. Patek Philippe is very popular with girlies, in my limited experience.

Ulysse Nardin

The £4,300 Blue Surf has a very trendy strap.

Vacherin Constantine

£5,700 gets you their rather seventies looking Overseas watch

So, no excuse for Agent DVD then. After all he would spend this sort of money on a bike or a piece of hi fi. Girls will not have sex with you because you have impressive hi fi whereas with a nice watch.. He won't believe us of course..

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