Tasty Morsel 1: Elizabeth Hurley

Elizabeth Hurley and John Thaw in the Inspector Morse episode Last Seen Wearing (1988)

Agent Triple P is currently working his way through the complete Inspector Morse TV dramas.  Morse, for those who don't know it, is a detective show set in Oxford.  The grumpy, Wagner-loving, vintage Jaguar driving, near-alcoholic Morse battles his way through interfering superiors, red herrings and false conclusions to eventually solve murders with his chirpy Geordie assistant (Kevin Whatley).  Agent Triple P is not, on the whole, a fan of detective TV series.  Really he hasn't watched anything like this since the Jersey-set Bergerac in the eighties.  But just as Bergerac gains from its interesting location in the Channel Islands so Morse benefits from being set in Oxford where, of course, Triple P spent three years at University.

Triumphantly passes the Triple P "does-she-look-good-in-a-vest?" test

The first episode appeared in 1987, just five years after we left college and we certainly watched the first few.  After that we only caught the occasional episode.  There were 33 two hour episodes in all and we have just bought a boxed set of all of them for a very good price on Amazon.  Oddly, we have come to these after having watched the spin-off series Lewis, which is shortly to begin it's seventh series.  So far we have watched around half a dozen of the Morse episodes and although Morse fans will find it heretical, we aren't enjoying Morse as much as Lewis  because Morse, as played by John Thaw, is such an unlikable character. Maybe he mellows later on.

And again!

Anyway we don't watch the series for Thaw but for the Oxford locations and the splendid line-up of British character actors appearing in every episode.  It being set in a University town there are, of course, lots of roles for young actresses playing students.  Some of these, in early roles, have gone on to bigger things and as we come across them we will post them here.

Looks like a teenager but actually 22 at the time

Hurley (right) as a schoolgirl in Last Seen Wearing

Our first Morsel (sorry) is none other than a 22 year old Elizabeth Hurley in her first screen appearance.  For the episode Last Seen Wearing (series 2) she plays a schoolgirl called Julia and very fresh-faced she looks too.  

Hurley was born in the rather grim Hampshire town of Basingstoke, just about thirty miles from where Triple P lives, in 1965.  It was her wearing of a Versace dress held together by gold safety pins in 1994 that launched her into the international public consciousness when she was otherwise known for very little other than being Hugh Grant's girlfriend. 

Altogether splendid!

From this she has built a reasonable acting, modelling and presenting career that sees her, at the age of 47, still being used for Estée Lauder campaigns.

Blessed with a particularly splendid body she always looks fantastic in photos, even in ones snatched by the paparazzi.

Triple P actually sat on the same table as her at a charity lunch (which she organised to support her doctor brother's research) a few years ago and found her quite charming and stunningly beautiful in the flesh.

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Happy Christmas to all our readers!

A Happy Christmas (or whatever your equivalent may be) to all our readers.  We really appreciate those who come by and, especially, those who take the time to comment.

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Calendar Girl September: Holly Willoughby

Holly's calendar pose

Only a few days to go to get up to date before next year's calendar but here for September is the curvaceous TV presenter Holly Willoughby.  We have already featured Holly here so just one or two pictures we haven't' shown before.

Former lingerie model Holly has a very unfashionable figure in that she is actually built like a woman and not a stick (c.f. the new Miss Universe).  Here at a  recent film premier she displays a derriere to die for.

After the birth of her daughter in 2011 it wasn't long before Holly was posing in slightly racy gear to prove that she was still a hotty.  It's always a worry, these days, for TV presenters as they get older (poor old Holly is 31) so she needs to keep her (magnificent) profile out there.  Never mind, she must have been cheered to win the Celebrity Cleavage of the Year award (as voted for by women!) in March of this year.

She will be back next year on TV as presenter of the next series of the BBCs dreadful The Voice, which started filming again this month in Manchester. We may tune in just to watch Holly waft about the stage and blink her always massive eyelashes (she is multi-talented).

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Calendar Plane of the Month December: Aichi D3A1 Val

We have actually caught up with Calendar Plane of the Month from the splendid Airfix Model World calendar.  We already have the 2013 edition.

This is certainly a model we never made as we had no interest in Japanese aircraft when we were small.  It is a Stuka-like dive bomber but was actually inspired by the Heinkel He 70 mail plane.  The winner of a 1936 competition to design a dive bomber for the Imperial Japanese Navy, it beat off competition from Mitsubishi and Nakajima.  Its official name was Navy Type 99 Carrier Bomber Model 11.  The designation "Val" being the allied reporting name.  The Japanese naming system for aircraft was so confusing that Captain Frank T McCoy a US naval intelligence officer working in Australia at the time came up with a series of easier to remember designations based, largely on men and women's names.  The Val took its name from an Australian Army Sergeant he knew.  

Val by Roy Cross

Like the Stuka it did not have a retractable undercarriage, as its top speed was so low, so needed wheel fairings to improve aerodynamics.  First seeing action in China her first carrier borne action was the attack on Pearl Harbour in December 1941 becoming the first Japanese aircraft to drop bombs on America targets.  It sank more allied ships than any other Axis plane, notably the British heavy cruisers HMS Dorsetshire and HMS Cornwall.  In addition, it sank the America Seaplane tender USS Langley which, before its conversion, was the United States' first aircraft carrier.  It also sank the British Aircraft carrier HMS Hermes, the world's first purpose built aircraft carrier.   It's not the Hermes on the 1964 box art by Roy Cross, however, as that had a very distinctive tower.

More planes in 2013!

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Miss Universe 2012 Olivia Culpo

Well, Miss USA, Olivia Culpo, won the Miss Universe competition for the eighth time in 60 years.  There has been much comment on the fact that every one of those wins came when the competition was held in the USA although, to be fair, the competition was held exclusively in the US until 1972 when it ventured to Puerto Rico.  Since then, however it has been more mobile internationally.  In the last forty years it has only been in the US twelve times.  This compares with five UK winners for Miss World, its UK based international beauty competitor (which actually predated Miss Universe by a year), all of whom won in the UK.  Miss World didn't have a non-UK venue until 1989.  So we feel that this criticism is a little unfair.

She's certainly got the legs

We didn't rate Olivia as one of our picks for 2012 in our previous post, not that that was a particularly scientific examination of the contestants.  She certainly ticks some of Triple P's boxes being a dark haired Mediterranean type from an Italian family but we am afraid that she really does nothing for Triple P.  Before she was Miss USA she was Miss Rhode Island, America's smallest state, we seem to remember from having a girlfriend, B, from there many years ago.

Now of course in these politically correct days, when the concept of a beauty competition seems to need as much justification as possible, you can't just base the decision on what she looks like so there all sorts of "personality" factors, including a live question and answer session where she, apparently, did quite well by saying that she had would have had no problem about a transgender competitor (a controversial issue this year).

She appears to be quite an interesting and talented person, being an excellent cellist (both of her parents were musicians).  Agent Triple P went out with a lady cellist once and always found it a most satisfactory and sensual instrument for a woman to play.

Nothing to see here

Ah, but where is the big "but" in all of this, you ask?  Well, that's exactly part of it.  She doesn't have one.  Now you are never going to get a porker winning Miss Universe and, indeed if you did it would be wrong and, no doubt, done for politically correct (and therefore, by definition, incorrect) reasons.

So here we come to the root of our problem with Miss Culpo who is, undeniably, a very beautiful woman indeed.  She is thin to the point of emaciation.  Look at the bones visible on her upper chest and her side profile in the picture above this one.  Nasty!  If she put on about ten pounds she would look a lot better we reckon.  Now there are no chubby contestants in Miss Universe (although Miss Cyprus looked a bit more womanly) but, even so.

Now there are two other things we are suspicious of, given how low her body fat must be: she seems to have two very hemispherical breasts.  Now, they aren't huge but are they real?  They do look a bit "stuck on".  But we may be being unfair.  She is only twenty, after all.  Apparently, the first thing she did on getting back to her room was order a cheeseburger on room service but maybe it was so she could throw away the bun, the burger and the cheese and keep the lettuce.

Nothing wrong with her face, however

Agent Triple P's pick of Miss Philippines, Janine Tugonon, wasn't so bad as she finished second.  Three more of our picks, Miss Kosovo (and she, Diana Adviu, won the Miss Photogenic prize), Miss Croatia and Miss Poland were also in the last sixteen.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?  No, it's time to change your stylist

The best thing about Britain's entry was her name: Holly Hale.  She was also hampered by a truly awful "national costume" which made her look like a low-rent super hero from a bad sixties comic book.  But at least she has a bottom.

The top five: Brazil, USA, Australia, Philippines and Venezuela

All these international ladies have got us thinking that we need an international babe of the month feature!  In fact we already have one in mind!

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More Miss Universe contestants...

Miss Poland

The Miss Universe competition reaches its breathless climax tomorrow so there is just time to feature a few more girls that have caught Agent Triple P's eye.  Agent Triple P often travels to Poland and likes the women there very much (although many of them are now in London), so here is Marcelina Zawadzka.

Miss Bulgaria

Eastern Europe has a disproportionately high number of attractive ladies and we were also taken by Miss Bulgaria, Zhana Yaneva.  Bulgaria has missed the last two contests but they are back with a bang.

Miss Kosovo

One of the few Central European countries Agent Triple P hasn't been to is Kosovo but if it produces more women like the classically beautiful Diana Avdiu then maybe we should get over there!

Miss Albania

Staying in the Balkans we have Adrola Dushi from Albania.  Another country we have yet to visit.  It's somewhat freer now than in the days when foreign men had to get a haircut before they were allowed through immigration!

Miss Croatia

There is something about those Balkan women.  This piece of pouting perfection is Elizabeta Burg, Miss Croatia.

Moving from the Balkans to the Baltic we arrive at a country which Agent Triple P has fond memories of, Estonia.  Miss Estonia, Natalie Komeitsik is not your typical blonde Baltic beauty but none the worse for that!

Miss Cayman Islands

From sunnier climes comes Miss Cayman Islands, Lindsay Japal and her lovely smile.  A perfect shape!

Another Caribbean beauty in the shape of the Emma Watson-channeling Miss Puerto Rico (a place with a fine history of producing lovely women), the bodacious Bodine Koehler.  Puerto Rico has won the competition five times, which puts them in third place overall after the USA (7) and Venezuela (6).  The only other country which has won more than once or twice is Sweden (3).

Just off the coast of Venezuela lies the 20 mile long island of Aruba and from here we get the lovely Liza Helder.  Pretty good to produce a fine specimen such as this from a population of only 100,000!

Moving down to South America we head up to the mountains to discover Miss Bolivia, Yessica Mouton.  Bolivia pretty much always fields a stunner and Mouton is no exception.  Six out of the last ten winners have been from Latin America.

Miss Angola

Popping across the Atlantic to Africa you find the ultimate legs of the competition in the statuesque form of Miss Angola; the mellifluously named Marcelina Vahekeni.  Last year's winner was from Angola, however, so a repeat seems unlikely, although Venezuela managed it in 2008 and 2009.

On to our choice from Asia and one of the favourites, and rightly so, Janine Tugonon from the Philippines.  When travelling to the Philippines a few years ago Agent Triple P met a Miss Makati (one of the sixteen cities that make up Manila) and very lovely she was as well!

Anyway, this is just a very small selection from the eighty nine contestants.  There really is a very high proportion of truly stunning women this year (and that is not always the case in beauty contests) but, of course, the decision isn't made on looks alone.  We will report on the winner in due course...

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Jessica Ennis: Sports Personality of the Rear

So, good to see Bradley Wiggins winning the BBC Sports Personality of the Year last night.  Agent Triple P was worried that the fall out from the Lance Armstrong affair might have dented the chances of a second cyclist in a row winning.

Star of the show, for Triple P,  was undoubtedly Jessica Ennis, who won a deserved second place for delivering a gold medal under an unprecedented weight of expectation.  You really couldn't go anywhere in Britain before the Olympics without seeing her cute face and cuter tummy on magazine covers and posters.  She looked sensational in her red dress and when she turned around she really was Sports Rear of the Year.

A perfectly pert profile!

A fine end to Olympic year!

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