Something interesting at last in Dancing on Ice...

Robin Johnstone demonstrates the critically important upper thigh separation

The quality gap between Strictly Come Dancing and Dancing on Ice gets ever wider.  From the point of view of enjoying an hour or so of flexible, underdressed totty on TV DoI is suffering due to the fact that it's women professional skaters are just not as attractive as Strictly's dancers.

Brianne Delacourt flaunts it

This year's female competitors are a sorry lot too.  An unattractive Marxist politician (get back to work - oh, excellent, you have to now), a woman from a reality TV show who was out so quickly we didn't even register her, TV presenter Anthea Turner who is so crass that she advertised chocolate bars at her own wedding and an Olympic gymnast who looks like she has fallen into a tub of Botox and subsequently emerged looking exactly like the mummy of King Rameses II Triple P saw in the Egyptian Museum in Cairo.   Pamela Anderson, who floated around in a haze of soft focus before being kicked out on the first episode (much to the producers chagrin, no doubt), hasn't been attractive since February 1990.  

Samia's partner practices getting his angle of attack right for later

The sixth girl, Samia somebody or other, who, as Paul Simon would have said is "alright in a sort of a limited way for an off night" did display a bit of passion in her skate this week but then that is probably because she is widely rumoured to have started bonking her professional skating partner before the show even started.

Fortunately this week, we had two of the professional skaters in micro denim effect shorts so small that we are surprised that the Daily Mail hasn't already launched a campaign to stop "unacceptably raunchy" costumes.    Very much the highlight of the series so far.

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Calendar Girl November: Britney Spears

We are just getting the last of the 2012 calendar girls out of the way so we can, hopefully, have the right girl in the right month for 2013.  November's choice was, the now rather unfashionable, Britney Spears who has deteriorated, over the last few years, faster than a Sicilian mama. 

Britney does clingy rather effectively

Her inclusion by FHM begs the question, of course, as to whether Britney was ever sexy or was she just faux sexy as driven by a publicity machine that had her dressed as a schoolgirl (when she was sixteen) in her first hit.  We are sure that you could write a fairly substantial PhD on the contribution of Miss Spears to popular culture over the last fifteen years.  

Of course, to what extent she drove her own image (it was she who suggested the school uniform in the Baby One More Time video, apparently) in that short phase when she was, indeed, attractive we don't know.

Certainly, she exhibited the classic signs of a young star wanting to be more adult, perhaps contrary to the wished of her management.

She did pose for some very fine pictures and although we find her music quite hideous (apart from Toxic which we quite enjoy and that is not just because of the Alias inspired video) we would definitely say that in her heyday she projected a desirable image.

Shiny!

Unfortunately, of course, this is tempered by the knowledge we have of her somewhat odd personality.  She is now thirty one and should be in her prime as a woman but the years haven't been kind to her; but drink drugs and smoking are not the recipe for a youthful look.

Agent Triple P did see her once, in California, when he was staying at his usual Los Angeles hotel, the Fairmont Miramar in Santa Monica.   She was lounging by the pool in a bikini and looked rather fine, we thought.

"That's it love, just lean forward a bit more!  A bit more!  We want to see your lovely...smile!"

So, all in all, we cannot dismiss Miss Spears as, for all her faults, she was, at one point, a rather lovely looking girl and watching wholesome turn slutty is always an enjoyable transformation to observe.

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