Drag-a-bags! Ban them now!

It's bad enough struggling through the London Underground system during the rush hour wiithout those two major annoyances: women who always get taken by surprise by the appearance of ticket machines at the exits and people with drag-a-bags.

This morning I was going up the escalator at Oxford Circus behind a mid-thirties woman and we just got to the ticket barrier and she had to stop dead to root around in her handbag for her ticket. It's a tube station! When you get to the top of the escalator it's going to be the ticket barrier next! I know you are a woman but please try to think ahead! Have you never been on the Underground before? Are you from Scunthorpe? Or New Zealand? Or Burkinu Faso? All underground stations have ticket machines. Be prepared!

Far worse, however, for the critical rhythm of daily commuting, are the drag-a-bag pullers. They pull their effete looking trolley bags along and then stop dead before every set of stairs or escalators to push the handle in so they can pick it up. Then, even worse, at the top of the stairs they stop again to pull the handle out! They are a menace! Mayor Boris should ban them on the underground. Firstly, nothing looks worse than a man with one of these. Are you really so weedy you can't carry a shoulder bag? Secondly, you shouldn't be taking luggage on the Underground anyway. Take a blooming taxi! Stop being so mean!

In reality drag-a-bags are for air hostesses and air hostesses only. Agent Triple P once saw 17 young ladies dragging their bags across the concourse at Hong Kong airport, looking very dinky. A whole Cathay Pacific 747s worth of them. Rubbery!

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Scary Swedish MP trying to get sexy adverts banned

Girls have always been used in advertising: Mucha's absinthe girl would be banned by the EU

Eva-Britt Svensson, a Swedish MP, and vice-chairman of the EU Committee on the Internal Market and Consumer Protection, is trying to get the EU to ban advertisements that promote women as sex objects. Worryingly she has already got her report, which wants all gender sterotyping banned, adopted by the European parliament.

Given the huge numbers of advertisements for beauty products, fashion, drinks, cars and just about everything else that rely on scantily clad women this could impact hugely and negatively on our visual experience. Oddly many of the adverts that use these images are aimed at other women and they don't seem too bothered.

Keira would be banned

In fact the use of these images in the UK is positively restrained compared to places like Italy and Spain where naked women advertise shower gel on daytime TV.

"Stereotyping in advertising is one of several factors that have a big influence on efforts to make society gender equal" says, the far from sex-symbol like, Svensson. In fact, if we were to be cruel we might suggest that Ms Svensson is a touch jealous of women who are sex symbols and cavort around in advertisements.

MEP Svennson. We suspect there is no man in her life. Unlikely to pull Lindsay Lohan even.

The fact of the matter is that women are sex symbols to men, always have been and always will be (and men are to women, shock horror!). Furthermore there can't be gender equality because the genders aren't equal! Women have babies. Men don't. Women leave their jobs at crucial times to have babies which is why they don't do so well at the workplace, on the whole. But if they didn't there would be no more people. Except probably Ms Svensson would prefer all that nasty reproduction business was done in a nice clean (possibly Swedish) laboratory.

Good luck Svensson. Personally we would back Hollywood, perfume companies and the fashion world in winning out against you and your nonsensical ideas.

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